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The Name Scrambling Contest Event

Posted Thursday, May 03, 2007 by Perry King

Many of the athletes have been entertained this year with unsual spellings of their names as reported to the meet summaries of the Journal News. Since the somewhat illegible scrawlings of names from the official results are faxed or phoned in to the paper, there is a "telephone game" process where the names are turned into scrambled eggs. Below are listed the competitors and their places in the Regular Season Name TripleMurdlingDisking event for both the boys and girls. The results were put before a board of one, whose credentials for judging are impeccable since his no-brainer name was turned into Ling, Ting, Wing, and Kong during his HS days.


Boys

This is one track and field event Kadeem cannot win since Scott has gone unblemished. His name was the only one spelled correctly in a recent 4x100 relay result. The contest was a close one, but the judge went for short and simple. Results are:

1. Coff. --Jon needs no introduction even when he spins out of control.
2. Hosbit, Higlie. ---Matt's powerful combo almost nipped Jon at the tape.
3. Culelwell, Calelvell, Coldwell. --Julian tried a triple for a close third.
4. Olzeszka, Oleska, Olesgho. --Mark may never get his name spelled correctly this year.
5. Herelem. --Only one botch for Charles, but it's a good one.
6. Fallar, Fawler, Sallor, Fallon. --Jimmy, I mean Evan, has the distinction of having his name butchered in every meet this year.

Honorable mismentions: Wathner, Sanserino / Samseverino, Brewsford, Nashalov (and also once as just plain Viktor).


Girls

Again, this was a close contest and excluded a star athlete -- Paulina has not been hit by the name bug once this year. But although there were some good stretch kicks, you just can't beat the top place finisher.

1. Hankey, Havlex. --Just goes to show that even Hanley can be diced into ridiculousness or maybe some prescription drug. Take it all in stride, Lauren.
2. Koenigbarb, Koenigdep, Kancaves. --Can't wait to see the results for Andrea for the rest of the season.
3. Mouser, Murser, Musei. --Shows what happens when you throw a tricky "uo" at the papers. Go Celia.
4. Madder, Masson, Thobe Maddox. --Phoebe has had an awesome season.
5. Tessiton, Tessitor. --Lisa has a robotic double and just likes to drop her terminal e's.
6. Zlardi. --Marissa's late entry takes the final place.

Honorable mismentions: Maluz / Malouf, Ollowski, Rematti / Remoitti, Gromer, Coburns


Keep up the good work, all.

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